Sapphic Sydney

Ok, I'm thinking that I should really go tell my mum soon.

What the hell should I say?

I'm petrified, but I know that it has to be done.

Hmm well my "outing" went something like this:

"mum... how would you feel if i was gay?"

"well... are you?"

"um... yeah i think so"

"are you joking or being serious"

"im not joking..."

"well then are you sure, i mean this is a very confusing time of your life... maybe you are just feeling confused"

"no mum... this has been going on for years"

After that she took it pretty well. She told me that as a parent she would of course rather if i was straight because it would probably make my life easier but that as long as i am happy she is happy.

Good luck!

x

That went pretty well.

I mean, I know that my mother would prefer that I was straight. It would be easier.

So nervous about it though.

I know a girl who told her parents and her dad cried. I really don't think I could deal with that.

I don't think my mum would, but I just don't want to let her down, you know?

I know this is a probably a silly way of thinking, but I feel that I've made something of myself, I've done well at school, and I don't want my sexuality to all of the sudden take over all my achievements.

I'm just chicken.

I wasn't so sure about my sexuality when I was your age. I told my Mum when I was in a seriously relationship with a woman. That made it a lot easier for me, I knew my mother would love me either way and even if she was upset at the begining she would eventually come around.

Good luck miss scarlet!

That's kinda the reason why I'm thinking that I might have to tell her soon.

I've been seeing this girl (it's only new) and we get on really well. I'm going to wait till we've been together a little while longer, but I don't think that this is the sort of thing I can hide.

We were kissing in a car park and I had a total freak out that I saw my mum's car. The girl I'm with is really good. She doesn't expect me to tell her anytime soon, but knows that I will have to eventually.

I might give it a month, ask around for more advice and then see how I go.

Originally i didnt plan coming out to my parents untill i was in a serious relationship, but then the years passed by and i didnt meet anyone that i wanted to get serious with... and i got sick of all the "so do you have a boyfriend yet" questions and thought fuck it ill just tell them now, im pretty sure anyway.

i came out to my friends about a year ago,and they were like yeh we already new that lol. so they were cool with it, even tho you could kinda tell seeing as how i had a pink mo-hawk every day.i told my mum bout three months ago and she was like "oh a girlfriend really can i meet her,she feels honoured that i told her. my dad on the other hand i think mite have kittens so i dont know what to do?

I just told mum. like maybe a few hours ago.

She was pretty good about it.

It was, um.... interesting?


The conversation goes as follows:

Scarlet: (About to throw up) Mum, um, Can I talk to you about something?
Mum: Sure, ok.
S: Ok, well you know *Blank* (Sorry, I don't want to use her name for her privacy) right
M: (Starts rambling) Well, I know of her, but I wouldn't exactly know her if I ran into her on the street. (Continues rambling in a similar fashion)
S: That's ok, that's not the important bit. Well, what would you say if I said that *Blank* and I are more than 'just friends'.
M: You mean like lovers
S: (Goes red) Yeah.
M: Well that's ok, I've always said that I don't care what people do beneath the sheets. So long as they don't do it in front of me
S: Wasn't planning to Mum.

She then proceeds to imply that it's a phase. Ok, so she never actually uses that word, but it's implied. She said something like "Lots of girls get crushes on other women." Then told me that I should be careful who I tell. She said definately don't tell Dad. (Duh mum) etc.

The phase thing irritated me a bit. But I suppose the reaction was pretty good. I mean, hopefully she'll get the idea that this isn't a phase after a while. But until then, she can think whatever she wants.

Oh, I confess I copy pasted that off facebook. I HAD to tell my friends, but I can't be bothered typing it out twice. So appologies if it does that weird thing again.

Good on you Babe

You did better than me.

I told my mother via text message whilst on safari in Africa....

When I was over there, I just had this undeniable wave of confidence wash over me and it was like for the first time in my life, my eyes were open to the world and I finally was sure of who I am and who I want to be.

So yeah, I'd just climbed the world's highest mountain, and everything seemed within reach.

I had sent the message before I'd even realised doing it....

Stupid way of telling her (pretty ashamed really) but it just felt right.

And when I got home everything was way cooler than I expected with my mum and even more suprisingly, with my uber manly bogan plumber father.

Congrats on having the balls to just do it!

Hope it all works out for you too

* world's fourth highest mountain.

Haven't climbed everest just yet...

WOW that amazing!

I kinda got caught with my "outing" so after that it was kinda obvious...

My mom passed away a year ago though, and didn't really get to tell her myself, but lastweek on the phone with my older brother, my sister and I were gay, well he knew about my sister, and as for me he said he always knew aswell and he was just waiting for me to come out. He was pretty cool about it though and said he doesn't have a problem with it, even if both of his only sisters are gay haha  it seems like we have gotten closer as well with a 4 year gap..As for my dad, he's not aware of it because he lives in another country.

Hey Scarlet sorry about the slow reply but thats so good! Go you for being so brave. Also i think your mums reaction was really good aswell. I know it can seem annoying that they think its just a phase but its understandable when you think about it. I mean honestly at this point in time it IS more difficult to be something other than the mainstream, things might be different in the future but right now i can understand that are parents would rather if we are straight (for are own sakes because they want us to have an easyest, happiest life as possible). So i guess if they are hoping its just a phase i can understand where that hope comes from.

my mum found out when i was like 16 when she came to pick me up from my "friends" house and arrived to find my "friends" mom chasing me down the driveway with a pitch fork, hahaha well not quite a pitch fork but yeah u get the idea. her mum was super religeous so it was a big secret, any way she caught us making out, yeah she was pretty angry.

my mom was cool though, once i assured her that my brother and sister would provide plenty of grandchildren and she stopped crying.

but yeah my girlfriend had it a lot tougher she was sent to a christian phsycotherapist to help her overcome her "problem" and yeah it took a while cuz she was pretty stubborn, but they broke her brain eventually, sux still miss her

I haven't really 'come out' so to speak with my parents. I mean, I bought my first female partner home to meet my parents, and initially they didn't like it, but then they grew to be okay with it. Now my whole family pretty much jokes with me about sexuality. So yeah, I think that when the time is right for me, and when I actually know what my sexuality is, my parents will be okay wth it. Its the extended family that I'm a little worried about it. But I guess I'll deal with that later. lol.

My parents foud out by accident over the weekend that I'm bisexual, and I confirmed it.

I'm not allowed back home at this stage.

I haven't come out to my family yet, and only to few friends in France. But in Sydney, almost all my friends know I am lesbian.

It makes the life easier sometimes to live far away of its family. I haven't seen them for 9 months now, and don't plan to come back for more than one year. I don't like to lie to them when they ask me if I have an 'australian surfer boyfriend', but I don't want to tell them the true by phone or internet.

My parents will come in Australia in May, we will spend one week together. I would like to tell them that I prefer the 'australian surfers GIRLS' rather than boys, but I am not sure that I will have enough courage, I am a bit afraid of their reaction. Especially I don't know how to say it.

Should i bring them to a show at SlyFox and tell them 'thats where I spend my wednesday night'? Use the sentence 'Mum dad I need to talk to you..', or just when they will fky back at the airport 'by the way I am lesbian, see ya next year we will talk longer about it'..

karla in wonderland at 03:50AM on Apr 06, 2009

My parents foud out by accident over the weekend that I'm bisexual, and I confirmed it.

I'm not allowed back home at this stage.

Eeeks!

How are you faring now?

I haven't "come out" to my family but most of them have come into my life and are relatively o.k with it. It has taken me years to accept my sexuality and i wouldn't be surprised or upset if it takes them a while too. Mum and Dad have always told us that it is fine who ever we want to have a relationship with, we are their children and at the end of the day that is all that matters. Even having had this sentiment presented to me all my life, it is still difficult when either coming out or letting people in.  i think most of the difficulty come from a general societal idea that it is A BIG DEAL to come out. The way I see it, I am not actually coming out from anywhere, I have just been here all along and I am really quite happy with ME and the way I do things. I'm not causing any serious harm to myself or anyone else...no crime is being committed. So, basically, I am happy and as my friends and family claim that that is allt hey want for me, then hey, i'm gonna have a hella happy time! I think the key to coming out/letting in  is something Claire shared with me, which is be confident in yourself, be certain that this experience is part of who you are as a unique and amazing person. As you are totally happy with your life, (even if you aren't exactly sure what's going on but happy with the journey ), then people will sense that vibe from you and be reassured that you are ok and that this is what is happening so DEAL. And if none of that makes any sense, just think of all the women and it makes everything woth it! haha.

I found it interesting on what I read about your experiences of coming out.

I just came out, a month and a half ago, I am bi, I always knew that I was difference since I was 13/14 and I denied my sexuality till I was 18, at the age of 18 a close friend told me to my face just accept that u r bi, I listened to him and I did, only my close friends knew then and my sisters knew, I am not ashamed of my sexuality but that doesn't mean I go up to people and say I am bi but I think the people I hang around a lot they tend to question my sexuality as I am so comfortable with it at times I think they can tell by what I say and my actions.

I decided to tell my parents the start of June, it just felt it was time, I am not seeing anyone, I did it for me, it was eating me up inside and so I told them, I came out 2wice, once to my mum and 2nd to both of them again, it was hard and maybe the way I came out was not right, I was very straight forward, I felt bad coz mum started crying thinking that I will never be with a man or have kids etc etc.

Both of my parents weren't happy, there were saying loads of offensive, not referring to me but the whole bi/gay community. I come from a background who is middle eastern and muslim, it is a background where people do not believe in it, they think it is all a choice and an option.

Bottom line is they both told me they would love me unconditionally no matter who I prefer to be with. But at the same time they don't agree with it, they think that it is all in my head and the couple lesbian friends I got, my parents think they turned me bi.

I tried to explain it to them but they don't see it and it is hard to explain something to someone who is so closed minded. I was suprised that mum acted that she had no idea coz I swear there were signs over the years. I don't mean getting caught with a girl as I never been with a girl or guy but I don't need to experience to know my sexuality. I never really met someone that I really liked to be with them and that is why I never been intimate with anyone yet.

Anyways it has been a month and a half, my parents didn't talk about it since then, they are in denial stage and I was gonna wait till I am in a serious relationship with a woman but it just felt time to do it now, plus it will blow over the shock and drama when that happens, atleast now they shouldn't be suprised.