Sapphic Sydney

Ok so today i had the most akward conversation with mom about relationships and stuff like that. Out of the blue she asked me  who are you talking to last night. Why is it always a girl blah blah blah. Then after that she said i want to ask you something but i dont want to ask. I think she wanted to ask if i was a lesbian, my heart was pounding so fast and my face was burning like hell so i quickly change the topic and walked fast back to my room coz i panicked. I have the feeling she's going to bring this up again and i dont know what to do or say. I'm scared to tell her, just knowing that the question is going to come up makes makes me sick.

Ugh, I totally know what you went through today. I was like that a few years ago (with my friends) but now I'm more comfortable with myself... to the point that whenever my mother brings up the topic of bfs and relationships, I want (but not reallyyy lol) to tell her. However, I still haven't gotten the courage to do that.

I'm kinda grateful that my mother has absolutely NO CLUE I'm, in any way, not straight. Same with the rest of my family... my siblings and dad. Sometimes I wonder if they're just pretending... but I guess I'm appear too girly to like girls... or something. Haha. xD

um, I understand what you felt

actually my family didn't know im a lesbian, if one day they know, im afraid they will be crazy...and then drive me crazy...dont know what they will do

just like you two, i still havent got enough courage to tell them so far, but i think i will when im find my partner...cus i dont want to lie to them

but i dont live with my parents, and they have no idea what im doing here  so this topic is seldom brought up, sometimes they may ask somethng like that though, but its relative easy to change a topic on phone than f2f conversation... am i lucky, lol

this is so awkward and sounds so familiar. everyone in my family knows im a lesbian (though all aren't 'accepting') but NO ONE in my girlfriends family knows! we tend to argue about this, i wish she would just come out and tell them! her mom HAS to have some sort of suspicion... we're ALWAYS together, either im at her house or shes at mine... my girlfriend has the same idea as you Psyche that when she knows we're going to be together forever/ shes found the right person/ someone long term then she'll tell them.. It was a whole lot easier for me to 'come out', i moved countries then emailed mom! lucky mom is super openminded and recently met my girlfriend, which made is easier for her to comprehend. I wish all of you the best of luck when you finally do it its pretty nerve racking! i wish straight people also had to come out like "hey mom, im uh, straight.." how come we have to be the exception to the rule? its just not fair  anyways best of luck and.... EELS FOR THE WIN! x haha

i love this sentence "hey mom, im uh, straight.."

i wish they also had to do this like us, lol

I can totally understand where you girls are coming from.

I always knew I was bi even though I never been with anyone, actually this year on June, I came out to my family that I am bi, it was nerve wrecking, and coming from a culture that doesn't accept it and close minded, it didn't help, I mean they were like "We will never accept it but if you are happy then we are happy and will always love you."

I am glad that I came out coz now I can be seen who I truley am, as for friends, the close ones they knew for years.

I just got sick of hiding a part of who I am coz I am comfortable with my sexuality.

Now I actually got a GF of 5 weeks, I only told close friends and my sisters, I would have not told them if I didn't think the relationship with my GF is gonna be long term. Now, I got to tell my parents, which I am so not looking forward to do it, I dunno when I will do it.

I wish you girls a good luck!

lmao bahahahaha!

Yo mama already knows!!! 

She's prolly seen your porn stash!

nah she ddnt see em

it was ur stash... it's gone missing in ACTION...with YOU

Ngaw, sounds like a filo mum... Am I close? 

yeah shes filo lol ... how'd you guess

well, your username was an epic hint, and I'm pretty sure most filo mum's follow that exact pattern in regards to anything taboo hahah

Sounds like your typical South East Asian mum unfortunately. Indonesian mother here... oi vey. Everything that makes her remotely uncomfortable gets swept under the carpet!

tru tru ...They seem to know alot of stuff you didnt even know they knew and words travels fast overseas aswell lol.... oh how i love filipina moms XD... well i just spent all day putting a lock on my door that way atleast  i get abit of privacy from nossy momma ...geez that was damn hard to change...

Jojo

Do you think, if your mum was to talk to you about this, that you are prepared for the information she will need to be able to understand you? At the end of the day she might come accross as attacking you only due to the fear of the unkown. If you are prepared then you can offer information to lessen the burdon of fear.

Mothers want to know that you are healthy, happy, able to procreate to add to humanity or at least willing to do so lolol, why should only they have all the headf^%k of raising a child hehehehe.

More to the point, they want to be assured you know exactly how you feel and know what you are doing and are being safe doing it. You may have religious resistance as well to take into account.

Be cool, be prepared 1st but let her ask 1st - its my take anywayz 8))

Hhhhmmm.... well if you're lucky enough to have  a parent who guides/orientates you through life then a revealing conversation regarding your sexual preference can be a huge benefit for both in understanding each other. From the parent an open path of information/knowledge and possible wisdom of personal experience can then be explored by the one who is taking their first steps into the challenging experiences of exploring ones sexuality or a (hetero/gay/whatever) relationship. (it's estimated that over 85% of the population is at the least bisexual) ...though they may not admit it. ( and the line about it's 'not natural or normal' well get them to google bisexual and homosexual behaviour in the animal kingdom... eg The Bonobo or  Pygmy Chimpanzee, Lesbian Lizards http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,921830,00.html or transexual fish) the list is very long. Normal is what ever you create it to be in your world. If the parent  is unwilling to accept your creation then that's their choice and ultimately their loss. Yet you must be strong enough to not need their approval which means you need to step up to the plate of adulthood quicker than you thought you were going to have to.... yeah being gay/trans/bi can and will fast track you into adulthood.... friends and parents are a big help in dealing with that freight train ride.

Unfortunately some parents are control freaks... be it by religion, culture, community or personal issues such as a type of co dependency towards their offspring. They see you as an extention of themselves to the point of ownership. Any guilt you feel is due to you wanting to please them and as soon as they see this the flood gates of manipulation to the max may open.

Best advise.... Listen to what they have to say... acknowledge what they have said... let them know what makes you happy and you're not on this earth to please them as you are an individual with your own choices and mistakes to make. A lot of the time parents don't want you to make a mistake... well it's by our mistakes that we learn our greatest lessons otherwise it's all about hearsay... how boring life would be then

Cheers K.

hey jojo you filo? im filo my mum doesnt know im gay lol but my dad knows though. its really hard to tell my mum the truth. it pretty sucks

"Oh my byke"- didn't get your name:tongue:

well i could definitely duplicate that "scene", of how much so that parents are always so involved in how you should act on things and should always follow the crowd, not being yourself.  Unfortunately, that's how my parents are. Still i'm glad, i'm trying hard to get out of their controlling arms. (distance is always a help)

And yet jojo: 

that's really frustrating. i could totally understand that. changing topic was brilliant. you should try saying maybe "will you be glad if i'm chatting with a guy?"  lol. 

And to drop by and say hi everyone, since i'm pretty new to this website.

well i've not come out to anyone except a very small number of really close friends and i used to be best friends with this girl that i fell for and we nvr stopped texting each other. my bro will out of the blue say something like "why u texting her so much? u guys r like lesbians" then my mom will continue in denial with something like "dont say that! she likes (insert actors name here)! right? u do right?....."... i'll just reply a really vague reply - asking them to stop it or just saying "yeah (insert actors name) is pretty handsome" - not a lie yet not exactly the truth lol! i will totally avoid it n hopefully they arent suspicious! it seems to be working till now tho

i hvnt been talking to that crush of mine for a long time and my bro said something like "what happened to your girlfriend?" i just reply jokingly "havent been talking for a long time! must be cause i'm overseas"... it worked again, i think. lol! oh well... even if my mom finds out, she'll probably be so in denial about it that she'll convince herself its not true. my mom is very VERY closeminded.

i'm not planning on coming out to my mom ever (probably running away or something would be better lol) but seriously, good luck to u! hope u'll be alive after

Thanks so much girls for responding. I've come to a conclusion that ill keep this a secret until i meet a girl who i know im going to be with for a long time then ill be like "oh hey mommy this is my gf. Oh btw I'm GAY".

we have the same plan jojo lol